The Broker-to-Broker Handshake: The Lost Art of the Industry

In 2026, the industry is obsessed with 'disruption.' Everyone is chasing AI-driven lead gen and automated follow-ups like they’re the holy grail. No one is chasing to shake the hand of another broker.

But after five decades in this business, I’ll let you in on a secret: the most valuable asset I had wasn't an algorithm—it was the personal cell phone numbers of the brokers I’d spent years building relationships with. It was a mutual respect based on actually meeting each other, not from exchanging IMs or emails.

The "handshake" isn't just a gesture; it's a euphemism for the weight of your word. It’s the physical manifestation of "Direct Contact."

In a tight market, the agents you co-broker with are either your greatest allies or your biggest roadblocks. You can either learn to work a personal network, or you can get used to being the backup offer.

1. Reputation is Your Only Currency You can buy leads, but you can’t buy a reputation. In this business, your reputation is the "invisible handshake" that happens long before you ever submit an offer.

When another broker sees your name on a contract, what’s their gut reaction? Do they think, "I know this person; this will be a professional closing," or do they think, "Strap in, I’m in for a fight over every repair and a headache at every deadline"?

If you haven’t taken the time to shake their hand or build a rapport in person, you’re just a name on a screen—and a name on a screen is easy to reject.

Professionalism isn’t a tactic; it’s the long game of ensuring that when your offer hits their desk, they already trust the person behind it.

2. The "Pre-Market" Handshake Call Don’t be a ghost who only appears via a generic MLS notification. If you have a buyer looking for something specific, don't wait for a digital alert. Pick up the phone and call the three or four brokers who actually "own" that neighborhood. Tell them you have the perfect buyer and ask what they have in the off-market inventory.

This isn't just an inquiry; it’s an opportunity to build a rapport for the future. That’s how "Shadow Inventory" actually finds a home—through human conversations, not automated alerts. A five-minute phone call "handshake" carries more weight than five years of automated emails.

3. The Gracious Handshake You may be competitors on the listing appointment, but you just might end up as cooperating brokers in a transaction. In those moments, your attitude is your handshake. Make it a point to congratulate your peers on their wins.

If a colleague closes a difficult deal, send a note. If they handled a messy situation with grace, tell them. If they beat you out on a listing, call them and congratulate them! Be big enough to share a laugh about it. When you extend that "handshake" after a loss, you aren't just being polite—you’re showing them you're a professional they want to do a deal with next time. When you treat your peers like professionals, they treat you like an insider.

4. The "Human Firewall" in Negotiations When relationships are strong, negotiations stay focused on the clients' needs rather than the brokers' egos. This is where the physical handshake pays dividends to you and your clients.

You can have a "tough but fair" conversation with a broker you’ve actually shared a coffee or a conversation with; it’s much harder to maintain that level of professionalism with a stranger you’ve only ever seen as a name in an email thread.

Think of that personal connection as a "Human Firewall." It blocks the ego and the posturing that usually derails a deal. When the inspection gets messy or the appraisal comes in low, that handshake is the foundation that allows you to solve the problem together instead of fighting over it. It’s much harder to be unreasonable with someone you’ve actually looked in the eye.

How to Get More Handshakes

1. The Committee Handshake Volunteering for local Association committee work is more than just "giving back"—it is the fastest way to increase your visibility and earn the respect of industry leaders. You’d be surprised how much "special attention" your offers get when the listing agent recognizes your name from a committee meeting. It’s the ultimate long-term broker-to-broker handshake.

2. The "Rubbing Elbows" Handshake In a world of Zoom calls, showing up at live events—conventions, trade shows, and awards banquets—makes a massive statement. It shows your peers that you are invested in the industry and interested in earning their respect. We used to call this "rubbing elbows" before it was replaced by the sterile term "networking." Personally, I think "rubbing elbows" is much more human.

The internet changed how we find houses, but don't let it change how we close deals. That still needs to happen mostly through trust. If you want to better serve your clients in 2026, stop looking at the screen and start looking at the brokers who will be on the other side of your next transaction.

Someone once said to me that it was a waste of time to network with brokers because they would never be a client. I beg to differ.

My peers weren't just my names; they were the handshakes that helped me build my career.

Until next time, try making it personal.

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About the Author: I am a retired real estate professional with a career spanning 47 years. Throughout decades of market changes, I remained dedicated to the idea that real estate is about more than square footage—it’s about the human experience. Today, I write about the lessons learned from a lifetime of helping people find the place that truly feels like home, hoping that sharing these insights will help the next generation of agents better serve their clients and find fulfillment in their own careers.

(C) 2026 Jeff Sorg